The Best Canceled TV Shows That Should Be Finished

What I want is my own television network.  Actually, I could just buy the Sci-Fi network and cancel all the "reality" shows and horror movies and do just as well.  What I would replace them with are all the television series that people loved that were canceled without ending properly. I've updated my list (2018).

One of the reasons a television series gets canceled is because they don't find an audience quickly enough.  Oddly enough, this isn't so much a consequence of the quality of the show or how well-written or well-acted it is.  It's all about numbers.  What's aggravating for television viewers is that too often, the networks' dim-witted scheduling decisions, hide the good shows so that you can't find them and by the time you do, they've canceled it.   Is it any wonder so many shows don't collect a fan base quickly enough to save them.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm just about ready to stop watching network television of any kind. I'm sick of investing time in a new show only to see it canceled just as it is getting interesting.  I can name a whole string of shows that have gone by the board that shouldn't have.  I can also tell a couple of cautionary tales about dumping a show prematurely.

Way back in the 60's an unlikely new show came out called Star Trek. The network didn't quite know what to do with it and almost canceled it. It was their first experience with outraged fans and it frightened them a little so they left the show in place. They finally canceled the series well short of the end of Enterprise's famous "5 year mission".  The ensuing movies and cable series are proof as to how wrong the network was.

Then, an oddball comedy show called M*A*S*H appeared on CBS.  The network moved it around all over the schedule so no one could find it anymore and then almost canceled it the first year.  Fortunately, smarter folks at CBS prevailed and M*A*S*H went on to become one of the longest running series in history with the largest audience for a finale in TV history.

Give an audience time to find really well crafted writing and acting and you will have a loyal audience. The hardest part for audiences is finding something worth watching.  Networks should make it easy for them to do that.  That's why I propose creating the Cancelled Series Network (CSN).

Now not everything that is canceled deserves to be revived, of course.  My Mother the Car springs to mind. But finding a good canceled series is easy.  Just check what people are watching on Hulu or in the network archives and pluck from oblivion, any series with a loyal fan base.  In the past few years, here are some notable examples:

1. Firefly - I don't care how many people didn't "get" Firefly at first, it was great storytelling, wonderful characters.  The best SF series ever if you listen to the rabid fans.  That's the first one I'd bring back.

2. Jericho- Even if you only shot another 5 episodes and brought it to an end, at least you'd have a DVD set worth buying! I mean, the Republic of Texas was fixin' to kick some Western Alliance behind unless I missed my guess. My favorite post-cancellation stunt by the fans was filling up CBS's lobby with nuts in protest! That kind of imagination and loyalty should be rewarded.

3. Kyle XY - It took me a while to find this little ABC Family gem as it did many others.  When it went to Hulu, viewers worldwide discovered it and made the series immensely popular in places like Canada, France, Brazil, Iraq and Turkey of all places.  It needs another season or two to bring the story cycle to its end. Besides it's a really good story with admirable characters actually doing honorable things.We should be exporting shows like this one with a really decent main character set.

4.  Journeyman - This involuntary time traveler tale was just beginning to get interesting when ABC pulled the plug. I think there should be a rule of a minimum one year and a requirement that the series be ended properly or you can't start the series at all.  A one-season mini-series would have been about right for Journeyman.

5.  New Amsterdam - This one, a Highlander-like, tale of a 400 year old police detective was, again, just starting to get interesting when they killed it.  This is another one that begs to finish the season and have an ending.


6.  Life on Mars - This one they did right.  I'd like to have seen one more season for this series, but at least they ended the series.  I loved the ending. I think the American ending was better than the British one, but then I like my stories to have closure.  I hate open-ended ambiguity.  Bravo to whoever let "Mars" write an ending before they killed it.

7. Crusoe - I was really getting into this retelling of the Robinson Crusoe story and I don't care how politically correct it was compared to the original or how few people watched it.  At least end the series for crying out loud.  For people that liked the series, you could at least buy the series or watch it on Hulu or something where it could generate some ad revenue.  Get the man home to his wife at least.

8. Defying Gravity - This intriguing bit of science fiction got pulled halfway through the first season and left me hanging big time. I'm beginning to despise ABC for doing that to me. They will be the first network I boycott.  Let them do dancing idol worm-eating survivor desperate ghost wife shows without me.  At least finish the couple of seasons it will take to complete the series.  That or turn it into a mini-series and end it.

9. The Unit - Finally the network does a military series that isn't anti-military. But, of course, CBS can't figure out where to put it and manages to hide it from any hope of an audience.  This one just needed to go on for about 5 more years till everybody on the team's hitch is up.

10.  Early Edition - The engaging saga of Gary Hobbs, the pub owner who gets tomorrow's newspaper today lasted only 3 seasons.  It could have gone on much longer.  I don't know whether they ended it or not, because I can't watch it on-line anywhere yet (at least not without risking an FBI raid).  I hope it ended well for Gary. At any rate, EE was one of those good-hearted shows that you watch every week to make you feel like there's some hope for the world.  I miss it. 

11. Chuck - I didn't commit an act of terrorism, but they did cancel it after fans won an extra season. Trouble is they left us hanging. They need a movie to finish it up or someone should pick up the series for a while. I like Chuck and it deserved far better than it got.

12. Alphas - Alphas on the Syfy network had a fascinating storyline and after an engaging season they ended it without wrapping it up. I think that it should be illegal to start telling a story without ending it.

13. Defiance - The story of a post-alien invasion St. Louis, lasted three seasons before Syfy dropped it. Syfy is one of the worst about dropping series, next to ABC....

14. Forever - This ABC series was fascinated and starred one of my favorite actors, Ioan Gruffud. It was about a 200 year old immortal man who becomes a New York county coroner. Bad people kill him a lot and he always disappears and winds up in the river naked. I really loved the series and it was just getting started when ABC ended it.

15. Defying Gravity - Again ABC produces a brilliant sci-fi show with a serious plotline and then does what Fox did to Firefly and canceled it mid-season. I liked the series because it didn't have a bunch of magic and implausible plot devices. It looked like it was going to be good and the ABC killed it. Stupid ABC

The Rest - Eli Stone (another series killed by ABC) should been brought to some kind of an end.  It was quirky and interesting. Same with My Own Worst Enemy.  Dead Like Me was a very strange little show, but killing it, then following up with a movie that doesn't end it either is just goofy.  Showtime needs to go ahead and run a few more seasons or finish with a closer movie WITH Mandy Patinkin this time.  Threshold (CBS) and Invasion (stupid ABC) were two SF shows that deserved at least an ending for crying out loud.  And I don't think I'd have ever got enough of Monk, but at least they did wrap the series up. Same with Syfy's Eureka and Warehouse 13.

Shows in Jeopardy: (Later canceled)


Chuck - If NBC kills Chuck, I may commit an act of terrorism. (They did and I didn't, but I'm still hacked off at them.)
Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles - My Sweet Baboo likes the Terminator movies and this spinoff TV series. I don't know why, but I put this in for her. (This one also got canceled. Sheila was highly unsatisfied with them for that won.)
Flash Forward - I just got into this one.  Please don't cancel this one.  I'm just catching up on the back episodes.(This one got killed before it finished the first season - boy can I pick 'em)
Numb3rs - They always cancel the geek shows.  Remember Dweebs.  I loved that show and it didn't last but a few paltry episodes.  Numb3rs is brilliant and must be a bear to write with all that math in it.  I hope they at least bring it to an end.  I think they are, at least based on the last few episodes I've seen. (Numbers hung around for quite a while, but I wasn't done with it when they canceled it.)

My network would mine from these series that have a dedicated fan base and set them up with a secure home for a minimum of one complete season.  No series would be canceled without at least a two hour series finale or more.  The first series I would sign would be FIREFLY, then The Unit, Jericho, Early Edition, Forever, Defying Gravity and Kyle XY and on down the list.  I think you could make a fortune buying and rebroadcasting these series with the promise of new episodes and an ending.  I'd rerun Life on Mars and add a half dozen or so new episodes sandwiched in between the last two episodes.  Forget the 26 show season minimum. We could just broadcast however many episodes the series works out to be.

I'd love to borrow Fawlty Towers, Red Dwarf and Good Neighbors from the BBC and revisit them too.  I think you could build a successful TV network using that model.  Only two rules.

1. NO CELEBRITY ANYTHING.
2. NO REALITY ANYTHING.

Only good storytelling, great acting and well-crafted concepts. I'd work for 5 figures and hire gifted amateurs to run the network and shoot the first marketing guy that shows up to tell me my demographic is skewed.

I would.  I'd get a conceal and carry permit just for that purpose.

Tom

Things to Do With a Tennis Ball

Tennis Balls are useful objects.  Here are a few things you can do with them.

1.  Courtship facilitator.  Tennis is good for your lungs and heart, but probably a bit hard on your knees.  I recommend it to young skinny people as a useful tool in the courting ritual.  Tennis will show you not only what your intended looks like in white shorts, but also whether your future spouse will play fair in a fight.  If you're dating and your boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter) slams the ball hard across your knees and then grins as he or she reminds you how badly you are losing, then you might want to find a new tennis partner, if you know what I mean.

2.  Sliders for old people's walkers.  If you cut a short gash in a tennis ball, you can slip it over the legs of a walker or cane and provide that just right level of traction that no plastic knob or vinyl slider will ever be able to reproduce.  It's the hairy surface that allows for that perfect resistance as it slides.  Laugh, but this tip could save you a broken hip some day.

3.  Doggie play toy.  Nothing works better for teaching a dog to fetch than a tennis ball.  Some dogs retain a tennis ball in their play area for just this purpose.  Not mine, of course. Daisy, our toothy Borador, can reduce a tennis ball to shreds in less than 4 minutes. She poops hairy yellow turds for days afterwards.  But for most dogs, a tennis ball is endless retrieving joy.  Just get yourself a rubber glove for handling the slobbery thing.

4.  Automobile radio aerial bumper.  I've seen mobile amateur radio and CB radio owners stick a tennis ball on the top of their whip antennas to reduce the force of impact of the aerial on any light fixtures or thin metal structures they pass under if they forget to check the clearance first.  It's one of those idiot-proofing deals for which a tennis ball is uniquely suited.

5.  Frisbee (TM) retrieval device.  A tennis ball, because it is usually found in the yard where you are playing Frisbee with your dog, makes a handy thing for throwing at a flying disk that you've managed to stick in a tree. It can also be used for kite retrieval, underwear retrieval (don't ask) and for loosening a dangling broken limb. Because it is small it can be delivered with unusual force on target and if you miss, will probably not kill anyone as would an anvil or a rock should you throw one of them up into a tree.  Remember: "What goes up must come down."  How much better that it should be a nice bouncy tennis ball that whacks you in the head than a small boulder, 2x4 or lug wrench.

6.  Garage warning device.  First you park your car where it should go in the garage so that you can close the door, but don't run into the back wall. Then nail a string to the ceiling and tie a tennis ball on the end so that the ball just touches the front window of the car. Then, when you drive into the garage, just pull forward till the dangling tennis ball touches the front windshield of the car AND THEN STOP!!!.  Then you don't crash through the wall into the kitchen like my sister did.

(c) 2010 by Tom King

Five Greatest Movie Villains

Okay, I admit going into this that I don’t watch any horror flicks, so Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers didn’t make the list.  My villains tend to be from family films.  A good villain to my way of thinking has to give children nightmares and have some nuance. By nuance, I mean, cause me to have no sympathy at all when they burst into flame, melt into a puddle or fall into a nuclear reactor. Here’s the list of the evil villains who disturbed my calm as a child.

1. The Wicked Witch of the West – When I was a kid, this hateful little woman scared the bejeebers out of me every year at Thanksgiving when they ran The Wizard of Oz on TV.  I mean, “…and your little dog too!” How much meaner can a person with warts on her nose be?
2. Darth Vader – Who doesn’t have a horror that your dad is really an interstellar black knight that can strangle people with his mind?  For my dad to strangle someone, he had to eat pinto beans first.
3. Cruella DeVille – The name says it all. Here was a nasty tempered woman, she was skinny and she smoked one of those cigarettes on a stick.  She was one bad dudette. I used to hide my dog Pudgie’s pups lest she drive by and spot them.
4. Cinderella’s Stepmother – Stepmom’s have to at least be represented on this list and who’s stepmom better than Cinderella’s? She had that old evil stepmother voice thing going for her and then she deliberately sabotaged Cindy’s chances for love and happiness with the prince by locking her up in the tower.  That’s low, I don’t care how many cooties a girl might have!
5. The Invisible Atomic Brain Monster – Okay, I did watch a scary movie when I was a kid. The Invisible Atomic Brain Monster was about this scientist who was doing experiments with human brains by exposing them to atomic radiation (nobody really knows why) and they come to life, become invisible and start crawling around using their spinal cords like some big-headed inchworm and they’d jump at you and wrap their spinal cords around your neck and bite your neck (I don’t know where the teeth came from) and suck out your brains and spinal cord and make more of them with it (I don’t know how), but they’d go on multiplying till someone cranked up the local atomic power plant, make them visible again and got a machine gun and shot them all, but not before they ripped the skirts off a couple of blondes for some reason not really clear to me at the time.  I slept for weeks with a pillow wrapped securely around my neck lest they should attack in the night while I was sleeping.  The pillow was to prevent them from sucking out my brains if they got past my barricaded door to my room!  I think that was when my mom crashed into my barricaded door with a hamper full of laundry that she made me stop watching horror movies on the Sunday afternoon movie.

This list undoubtedly says something about my character, but I can’t really figure out what.  It was going to be 10 Greatest Movie Villains, but it’s late and all I can come up with for the last five are Snidely Whiplash, Boris Badenoff, Witchie Poo, the rabid wolf in “Old Yeller” and the First Terminator and since three of them are TV villains, Arnold is governor of California and has had all the PR he'll ever need and since I’m too tired to go on, we’ll leave it at 5. 

Did you know that that’s why there weren’t the 10 Wonders of the Ancient World instead of 7?  They were making up the list, it was late and everybody was drinking and fell asleep. That’s how come they left out the Aztec Pyramids, The Easter Island Moa’s and Cleopatra’s bath scene in the Elizabeth Taylor film.

I’m just sayin’

Tom

Top Ten Things to Drink When You are Really Thirsty

Admittedly, this list is not scientific by any means and is the result of a poll of limited scope - me and the missus were really thirsty and we were trying to think of what would really hit the spot.  What follows is THE definitive list of thirst quenchers.....

1.  Water very cold or on ice:   Plain old hydration.  No sugar, no caffeine, no electrolytes.  Useful as a chaser for some other drinks that provide immediate, but not long term relief.

2.  Coca-Cola in the original glass bottle:  There is nothing like it for cutting a dry mouth and getting moisture to your tongue and throat.  It loses it's effect if it's from a plastic bottle. It's not the same over ice, even in a glass tumbler.  It only works in that wonderful curvaceous glass bottle.  Tall or small, it matters not.  Coke does contain caffeine which actually kicks up the kidneys and makes the fluid run on through your body, so you should always follow up Coke with a water chaser to offset the evil effects.  Even with it's drawbacks, Coke is what you want first when you step out of the desert to clear your palate.  It's the real thing!

3.  Iced Tea in a tall glass with lemon, sweetened or unsweetened, no straw: Ice Tea was invented in the South because it is so danged hot down here. You can't drink hot tea when it's 105 degrees with 100% humidity.  It's just not civilized.  You'll sweat right through your white seersucker suit and you don't want to see a bunch of dowdy old white guys and their wives running around with those white outfits plastered to their skin. It's just not decent.  Sit down in the shade and pour up a big old glass of tea and sip it slowly to let the effects of the cooling liquid restore your spirits. It's civilized!

4. Beer, very cold:  I am told that a cold beer on a hot day is restorative.  As a confirmed teetotaler, I do not know this for a fact and having actually tasted beer cannot imagine how this could be so, but I take the word of others more experienced than I.  Beer does contain a lot of nutrients, sugars and carbohydrates in it. Originally, beer was invented by the Egyptians as a cheap way to keep the pyramid builders happy and hydrated.  It's like liquid bread! 

5. Gator-Aid: The original scientific thirst quencher, Gator-Aid and it's innumerable immitators do a really good job of replacing lost electrolytes, allowing athletes and 15 year old boys to keep going long after they should have fallen down in a heap panting for iced tea. 

6. Lemonade on ice with a little umbrella:  Developed by the British Navy and assorted pirates and merchant sea captains to prevent scurvy and disguise the taste of unflitered, unchlorinated water left too long in the cask, lemonade became fashionable in the South for when we weren't drinking iced tea or mint juleps.  Good stuff if it's not too sweet and you're really thirsty. 

7.  Orange Soda: Nehi or Mission Orange or Orange Crush in a glass bottle that's been buried in a cooler full of ice.  Must be drunk quickly while every ounce is freezing cold. 

8. Orange Juice on ice:  For sheer restorative power, a huge glass of orange juice on ice cannot be beat. I've been told that drinking that much orange juice can be harmful, but I do not see how and refuse to believe it.  A big glass of iced OJ with a pimento cheese sandwich, potato chips and a pickle can bring a man back from the dead. I've seen it. 

9. Diet Dr. Pepper on ice:  I love Diet Dr. Pepper.  It's what older East Texans use instead of Coke.  Pour it over a big glass of ice and it quenches the thirst admirably, without the carbonated creosote taste of Coca-Cola. I actually choose theaters by whether or not they serve Diet Dr. Pepper.  Diet Coke and Pepsi are absolutely uncivilized. 

10.  Dr Pepper in the small bottle:  Bottled in Dublin Texas using Imperial Pure Cane sugar instead of that horrible old corn syrup, Dr. Pepper in the small bottle is the last vestige of the age of enlightenment. Dr. Pepper any other way is just wrong.  This is the way my grandmother served Dr. Pepper when I was a boy. We Texans make pilgrimages to Dublin to buy case lots of Dr. Pepper made properly.

That's the lot.  If you disagree, you may comment.  You'll be wrong, but go ahead.....

(Okay, this one got left out and should be included )

11. Diet A&W Root Beer in a big frosty mug. I bought a big glass mug just for my restorative rootbeers. I go with diet because (a) I'm diabetic and (b) it's not as sweet as original A&W and I like my soft drinks a bit less sugary anyway.

I'm going to leave room here at the bottom if anyone thinks of another restorative fluid which should go here.

© 2017 by Tom King

Five Strange Little Movies I Like, but You Probably Never Heard Of

There are a bunch of funny little movies out there that are little jewels. When you see them, they make you smile every time and you're glad you watched them and wonder why no one else seems to know this movie exists. 


1. The Captain Is a Lady - Charles Coburn and Beulah Bondi star in this sweet film about a retired sea captain who is swindled by the local mayor and evicted from his home. His wife moves into a home for single elderly ladies, but sadly, no men allowed.  The residents including Marjorie Main (Ma Kettle) smuggle Captain Abe into the old ladies home where he is listed as Old Lady 31 to his utter embarrassment.  The Captain performs an act of heroism and with the help of a bunch of very determined widow women, wins back his nest egg and his wife's little home.  The thing is an absolute delight from start to finish and the scene where the old ladies confront the swindling mayor is priceless.

2.  Dark Star - John Carpenter's quirky sci-fi picture screws with your head. A bunch of grungy space travelers fly about the universe searching for unstable planets to destroy with a frozen captain, a batch of talking bombs and the odd inflatable alien lurking about the hold waiting to pounce. Just to give you an idea, there is an ongoing philosophical argument between the acting captain and a defective bomb that insists it is time to blow itself and the ship to bits. The theme song is a country ballad about the theory of relativity as it relates to a girl in Benson, Arizona. 

3. Hobson's Choice - Charles Laughton is a widowed boozy London shoemaker with three troublesome daughters. His eldest daughter, Maggie (Brenda DeBanzie), decides to get all the sisters a husband including herself.  She picks the best shoemaker in her father's shop, marries him and sets up in competition with the old Man.  John Mills as Willie Mossop is wonderful as the shy cobbler she takes in hand and makes into a man every bit as formidable as her father. Hobson never has a chance...........or a choice. I love this movie.

4. Haunted Honeymoon - This little gem stars Gene Wilder, Gilda Radner and Dom DeLuise and takes place in the golden age of radio. Wilder is the neurotic nephew of Dom DeLuise as his Aunt, the matriarch of an odd collection of screwy relations who come to a spooky old mansion on a stormy weekend, apparently to scare Larry Abbott, Wilder's character, to death.  At one point DeLuise as the portly Aunt Kate does a hysterical dance version of "Ballin' the Jack" with Radner's Vickie Pearl character.  Complete with a surprise ending, this lovely film is perfect for some delightful Halloween fun!

5. Serenity - Arguably the best science fiction TV series ever, Firefly was canceled in its first season.  For some reason people don't "get" this show.  The premise is that the Earth collapses and two civilizations escape - Americans and Chinese.  Most people speak English and curse in Chinese. Everyone has settled in a large star system that has a whole flock of habitable planets and moons that have been terraformed for human habitation.  Some planets are less terraformed than others and became a sort of frontier with the characteristics of the American West complete with cowboys, outlaws and smugglers.  Set after a failed war for independence, a bunch of ex-rebels under the command of a laconic former sergeant cum smuggler ramble from planet to planet in an old Firefly class space freighter looking for work of dubious legality. Serenity, the movie, closes the series and solves the mysteries introduced in the series. Nathan Fillian is terrific as Captain Malcolm Reynolds, coping with vengeful corporate operatives who are in pursuit of one of his crew and the secrets locked in her head.  This movie is just plain good if you give it a chance to get under your skin.  Watch the series first for a complete "Firefly" experience.

My Top Ten All Time Favorite Politicians

by Tom King (c) 2009 - All Rights Reserved

The words favorite and politician are not words I often use in the same sentence, but I do have some. To get a full ten, I have to go back a ways in history. Some are obscure. All are personal choices. They all have one thing in common.  They all are courageous and have taken risks that could have cost them their careers. Their actions often earned them the wrath of their contemporaries. In every case, reading their stories made me smile. Having been.in the position of standing up to "the man" in defense of the little guy, I appreciate the type of sand it takes to plant your feet in the breech and stand for something you believe in. What follows is my personal roster of politicians in the breech!

1. George Washington:  Okay, George is a no-brainer, but these days most people don't realize what a gutsy guy the general was. First there was the whole crossing-the-Deleware/Battle of Trenton deal which nobody thought would work and if it had failed, that might have been the end of the revolution. Certainly Washington, himself, would have been killed or captured and hung. Then he refused a kingship.  He refused to let them call him "your excellency" or give him the trappings of royalty as first president. He refused to serve more than two terms and set a precedent so powerful that when FDR broke it, the Congress waited till he died and then passed an amendment to prevent it from every happening again. These are only a fraction of the stories I could tell of Washington's courage and faithfulness to his principles.

2. Abraham Lincoln:  Lincoln is another no-brainer. The man had the courage to do what he had to in order to hold the country together in the face of the greatest crisis in the nation's history. His second inaugural address sounded the call for the liberation of those in slavery and defense of the union. The Emancipation Proclamation was opposed even by members of his own cabinet. He risked his life by what he did as president and he knew it. He did not shrink from doing the right thing even though he understood what price him might have to pay and he did pay that price at the end. He was a wise, compassionate and gentle soul whom I think was chosen by God to be where he was at that moment in time and to stand in the breach. The more I learn about Lincoln, the better I like him.

3. Arlene Wohlgemuth: Arlene is someone you likely do not know. She served as Texas state representative from District 58 back in the 90's. During her first term, Texas Monthly called her one of the top ten new Texas legislators. The notoriously liberal leaning magazine changed its tune next go round and demoted her to the ten worst legislator's list. What happened.  It's called the Memorial Day Massacre by Texas political junkies. The back story is this. Ms. Wohlgemuth proposed a bill that if a teenage girl wanted an abortion, her parents had to be notified. The Democrats killed her bill by delaying it with a procedural motion that prevented the bill from being voted on. Furious, Arlene didn't get mad. She got even.  She invoked the exact same procedural motion and killed 52 Democrat proposed bills that the Dems were bringing in under the wire in the last days of the session (a common way to sneak stuff by the public without a lot of uproar).  The wailing in Austin was a thing to behold. Arlene got death threats. Texas managed to remain standing for another 2 years without an expansion of government till the Democrats lost their majority hold on the Texas legislature. Gotta love the woman!  I hope she runs for congress again. We could use someone like her.

4. Sam Houston:  Sam Houston was an alcoholic and by all reports a venal, self-serving vindictive bastard. His men had to drag him to the Battle of San Jacinto to confront Santa Anna. Then, he bungled negotiations with Santa Anna and let him go to harass Texas again just a few years later. He persecuted the members of the Texas Navy at a time when the Navy was single-handedly keeping the Mexican Army off the coasts of Texas. Despite Houston's efforts to torpedo them, the Texas Navy probably preserved the state's independence. Sam didn't like sailors for some reason and tried to prosecute the secretary of the Navy for treason.  Old Sam had a lot of faults. But when the state of Texas decided to blindly follow the southeastern states into rebellion, Houston, in a rare display of honorable behavior, opposed secession despite its popularity.  He resigned his office in protest. His example inspired an underground resistance movement in Texas that interfered with military supply and support operations throughout the war. For that alone he deserves the big ugly statue on the road between Houston and Dallas.

5. Thomas Jefferson: Jefferson gets my vote for two big things - writing the Declaration of Independence and forcing the issue with the Bill of Rights. T.J. also had problems with the navy and his stingy support of the fledgling U.S. Navy emboldened the British and may have played a part in encouraging the War of 1812. Despite his failings, old Tom was capable of taking risks.  The Louisiana Purchase was a risk well worth taking. He also slipped language into the Constitution and Declaration that mollified southern slave-holders, but managed to implant principles into the founding documents that flowered in the fires of the Civil War and led to the end of slavery.

6. Ronald Reagan: Reagan makes the list because I absolutely love this guy.  Reagan was a genuinely decent man. If this list were in order of importance, Ronnie would be tied with General George for #1. Reagan articulated a positive vision for America that actually worked. He genuinely believed all the stuff he said about American excellence. If we are indeed a city on the hill, then it was Reagan who turned the lights back on so people could see us again. His first defining moment was at Reykjavik when he walked away from the negotiating table against the advice of his advisors, his cabinet and every political pundit that could be dragged in front of a microphone. His guts and stubbornness vastly reduced the number of nuclear weapons pointed at us when the Russians caved a year later and signed a ground-breaking nuclear disarmament treaty. His second defining moment was in front of the Berlin Wall when he had the cheek to challenge Premier Gorbachev to "tear down this wall!". Again, everybody screamed "Take that line out of the speech!".  Reagan's response?  "We better leave it in.  It's the right thing to do!" God bless him for that.

7. George W. Bush: For all GW's shortcomings, his overspending, his economic compromises with liberal Democrats, I am glad he was the occupant of the Oval Office when the terrorists hit the World Trade Center and Pentagon on 9/11. He declared war on terrorism, calling it a war and not a police investigation. Because he stood straight, stuck by his guns and prosecuted a war against terrorist strongholds, during the balance of his time in office the United States was not attacked by terrorists - period!  Within a year of his leaving the presidency, a terrorist attacked a U.S. military base. Whatever you may say otherwise about President Bush, he did keep us safe here at home. I suspect we'll never know what it cost him to do that.

8. Sarah Palin: You've got to admire the courage of this woman. She starts out as mayor of a tiny town in Alaska. She cleans up things there and runs for governor. As soon as she hits office, she turns on her own party and cleans house. She negotiates a pipeline deal that increases the flow of oil to the lower 48. She disrupts Alaska politics as usual by shining the light on a host of nasty little political deals. She accepts a spot on the presidential ticket and endures brutal attacks by folks on the left. They go after her, her family and file a flood of lawsuits designed to cripple her ability to govern. She resigns the governor's office for the sake of the state, despite the universal opinion of political pundits that this will be the end of her political career.

Anybody wanna bet?

9.  Louis Gohmert:  Louis is the U.S. Congressman from the 1st District - my district here in East Texas. I wasn't sure about Judge Gohmert when he first hit the Congress.  My opinion of him soon changed. He stood up on the House floor and pointed out that after just two months of the new Democrat majority talking about raising taxes and expanding government, the stock market took a dive. Then he proposed a tax holiday instead of a cash stimulus. The idea was genius. It placed money in the hands of people who could use it to stimulate economic activity and at the same time reduce the ability of the government to meddle. Instead of passing the money through the government where it could be misdirected, misappropriated and wasted before going to the people, the people would simply keep what they already had and it would happen fast. Then when Obama did a speech on health care to a joint session of Congress, Louis sat there big as life with a sign on his lap that said, "What bill?"  and "What plan?".  Ya gotta love this guy!

10. Theodore Roosevelt:  Teddy was a progressive. He was caught up in the whole progressive movement and as we have learned since there are some really bad things about progressivism. But there was more to Teddy than that. He did a lot of things that were downright un-progressive as president.  The "Big Stick" policy alone wins my admiration. He went after the big trusts that had long enjoyed government protection of their monopolies. He reduced the power and influence of the robber barons and restored opportunities for smaller companies to get back into the game. Teddy was wrong on a lot of things, but then progressivism had yet to reveal itself as the pernicious doctrine that led directly to the rise of socialism, facism and nazisim in Europe. I suspect that as that became clear to Teddy, he'd have slapped that idea down as enthusiastically as he went after the corporate crooks that had been squashing competition and exploiting their employees with the willing complicity of government for decades.  While giving a speech once, someone tried to assassinate him. With a bullet in him, President Roosevelt gave the speech in full before going to a doctor for treatment. That's my kind of guts.

Admire who you like, but these guys are some of my favorites. They all have one thing in common. Each of them have taken stands that earned them the disdain of the elitist snobs of their eras. Having received hate mail from bureaucrats myself, I tend to like that quality in my politicians. We need more of these people if our country is to survive. How many of our elected officials would stand up in the legislature and say as another of my favorite obnoxious politicians once said, "Give me liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry had his flaws, but like King Arthur in the legend, he had his one brief shining moment!

A Dozen and One Movies that I Like to Watch Over and Over

Follow Me Boys! - Disney 1966

I like movies.  There are a few that have stuck in my head and I find that I come back to them regularly to watch them over and over. Here are my favorites - the ones I see often enough to quote from and buy a copy of on DVD.

1. Camelot - "Not 'Might' IS right," says Richard Harris as King Arthur, "But 'Might' FOR right!" This musical version of T.H. White's profound "The Once and Future King" uses all the best lines from White's masterpiece to tremendous effect.  King Arthur was a father figure/role model for me.  My own Dad cut and ran when I was 5 and I found my heroes in books and movies. Camelot got me into a lot of trouble in my life when I've stood and fought till the castle came down around my ears. But at least, for one brief, shining moment......

2.  It's a Wonderful Life - George Bailey was another one of those movie heroes who did the right thing even though it wasn't always exactly what he wanted to do. This is one I have to watch at Christmas, just to recharge my "do-gooder" batteries to get through another year.George's speech to Mr. Potter captures the frustration of every man who ever tried to do the right thing only to be thwarted by some selfish evil old spider.

3.  Scrooge - The musical version with Albert Finney is brilliant. Finney is Scrooge at his nasty best and convincingly delivers the moment of giddy release that comes from letting go of your sins and accepting the forgiveness and good will of your fellow man.  Again, another movie where the good guys do the right thing no matter the consequences. Bob Crachett is as brave a man as any muscled up knight in armor. My favorite bit is where the soup man dances on Scrooge's coffin and sings "Thank you very much....that's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me!" And old Scrooge on the sidelines with the Ghost of Christmas yet to come, dances along with the song.

4.  Haunted Honeymoon / Hold That Ghost / Ghostbreakers - These three movies are our Halloween trilogy every year.  We don't do horror movies at my house. These are great fun. Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner are wonderful and the "Ballin' the Jack" duet between Gilda and Dom Deluise is priceless. The bit with the candle that Lou Costello does in Hold That Ghost is fall on the floor funny no matter how many times you see it. Bob Hope has possibly the greatest line in movie history when he asks a local guy what a zombie is. The man describes zombies as "...walking around with dead eyes and no will of their own."  Bob shoots back.  "Like Democrats?"

5. Star Wars - When I sat in the theater during the opening of that movie and that enormous star destroyer passed overhead, lasers blazing, I knew I was in for something I'd never seen before. I love every episode. Luke Skywalker: “It’s not impossible. I used to bulls eye wamp rats in my T-16 back home, they’re not much bigger than 2 meters."

6. The Quiet Man - John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara at their best. The scene where he drags her 5 miles back to her brother, across the fields and through the sheep poop is hysterical. One of the bystanders offers Wayne a stick saying, "Sir! Sir! Here’s a good stick to beat the lovely lady!"  The look on his face is priceless.

7. The Princess Bride - "This is true love.  You think that happens every day." This rolicking swashbuckle has one of the best sword duels ever filmed AND nobody dies.  There are a few movies that are perfect and this is one of them.  MIRACLE MAX:  He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him. INIGO MONTOYA: He's dead. He can't talk. MIRACLE MAX: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. INIGO MONTOYA:  What's that? MAX: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.   I never tire of watching this. If you haven't seen it in a while, toss it on the old DVD player and "Have fun storming the castle!"

8.  The Lord of the Rings - This stunningly beautiful and surprisingly faithful version of Tolkien's classic is even better in the extended version. I was very happy that it took a half dozen endings to close the story. I love Samwise,  "Mr. Gandalf, sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything... unnatural."

9. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis' classic was well and truly brought to film and was all I could have hoped. I always tear up at the stone table scene. Edmund Pevensie: [horse rears up] Whoa, Horsey. Philip the Horse: My name is Philip. 

10. Serenity - Captain Malcolm Reynolds thinks he's a scoundrel, but like Han Solo, this space cowboy can't help but be a do-gooder.  This movies caps the canceled TV series "Firefly" nicely and I watch that over and over too. Not everyone gets this movie.  I'm one that does. In it Malcolm makes one of the best speeches ever:

You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave.

11. My Favorite Year - Peter O'Toole plays a fading swashbuckling actor forced to appear on a TV show to pay his taxes.  He and a Jewish comedy writer make it a night on the town in which everyone learns something. The climactic scene in which O'Toole and the TV show's star fight it out onstage with mob thugs is nothing but fun. Benji Stone: "Catherine, Jews know two things: suffering, and where to find great Chinese food."

CS Forester's Hornblower Collection

 12. Captain Hornblower -I love the Hornblower books, so I like to watch the movie and the TV mini-series. Hornblower is another man trying to do the right thing in hard circumstances.  I think there's a theme here. HORNBLOWER: "Flogging only makes a bad man worse, Mr. Gerard... but it can break a good man's spirit. Is Hummill a bad man?  GERARD: Aside from his temper, sir, he's a good sailor.
 HORNBLOWER: A good sailor, ill-fed and thirsty. Watch the cat as it cuts his back to pieces, Mr. Gerard... and in the future, perhaps you'll think twice when you threaten a man with flogging. A&E did a marvelous mini-series of the first 4 of CS Forester's Hornblower novels with Ioan Gruffud in the lead role. It's a wonderful adaptation of Forester's brilliant 11-volume Hornblower novels.

AND ONE:  Follow Me Boys! - Travel weary musician, Lem Siddons (Fred McMurray), gets off the band's bus in Hickory, a tiny town in what looks like New England or the Carolinas. He quits the band, gets a job as a store clerk, rents a room over a pool hall and promptly spots an attractive secretary (Vera Miles) in the local bank. To impress her and coincidentally the local wealthy dowager who loves boys, Lem volunteers to organize a scout troop to get the local boys off the street and teach them about being men. Romance ensues with the bank secretary, Lem wins her away from the local bank president, Mr. Hastings who can't stand kids. Lem, of course, marries her and they adopt the town's orphaned boy troublemaker (Kurt Russell). The movie follows Siddons through a decades long career guiding young boy scouts until his retirement. The payoffs at the end and all through the movie are heart-warming and imminently satisfying. I get all misty every time I watch it. One of Uncle Walt's best live action movies. It's hard to find "Follow Me Boys" online or on DVD, so I downloaded a copy for my library. I highly recommend this film if you're as weary as I am of the f-word, G.D., nudity and lewd behavior. This one will, as I said, warm your heart. Lem Siddons: Okay you hoodlums, get down now. Oh, and Mr. Hastings. From now on I'm the only one who calls them that!

Also, my son, Micah used to fall asleep watching the same movies over and over.  Micah's movies seemed to have a theme as well. Here are the ten I most remember seeing on his TV when I went to check on him at night.

Micah's Top Ten

1. The Hunt for Red October
2. Braveheart
3. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
4. The Patriot
5. Lean on Me
6. Young Guns
7. Star Wars
8. Lord of the Rings
9. Shrek
10.Dances with Wolves

Micah could quote from all of them. I think some of them seeped into his brain like sleep learning. He could speak a bit of Lakota Sioux from watching Dances with Wolves so much. The kids at the treatment center where I worked nicknamed me "Buffalo Butt" in reference to my rather ample haunches. They called Micah "Little Buffalo" even though he was 6'4" and 250 pounds at the time.  We called each other "Tatanka." If you've watched "Dances With Wolves" several dozen times, you'll understand the reference.

© 2020. 2024 by Tom King