Ten Advantages to Becoming an Old Coot

I have attained my grandfatherly years honestly. I will admit I had hoped for a few more grandchildren than I wound up with, but my children have stubbornly refused to reproduce in the quantities I had in mind. I gave up my armada of boats, my ton of fishing gear, my sporting goods bag (in case a ball game broke out among my 18 grandchildren that, sadly, never materialized), my scuba diving equipment, my train sets, most of my game collection and all but a few of my young people oriented book collection (even "Mike Mulligan & His Steam Shovel" was passed along to the one grandkid we've determined to spoil rotten).  I have two grandsons, one of whom is 2300 miles away is adopted and whom I love like one of my own children and visit weekly by Skype. My other grandson currently lives in Tennessee and moves around a lot, I've never met him and have only made tentative contact with him through Facebook recently so we don't know how that will go yet. 

 

So my dream gig as the fun grandpa has been abridged significantly. I had a fleet of canoes and equipment all ready to lead family floats down the mighty (and fairly safe) rivers of Texas. I even trained as a Red Cross swimming and canoeing instructor. Man I was ready. Oh well. "The best laid plans o' mice and men oft times gang agly" as Scottish poet Bobby Burns once opined.

Still there are some definite advantages to becoming an old geezer and a few disadvantages like arthritis to make you appreciate the good bits.  So let me list the good stuff that comes with being an old coot.

1. People don't expect you to dig ditches. It surprises them if you do pick up a shovel and they are appreciative since they didn't think you were going to help. AND they keep offering you drinks and asking you if you need to sit down for a minute.
2. Your children and their spouses ask you if you want to take a nap and think it's funny when you snore. You actually win points with your offspring, your spouse and your various descendants when you pile up in the recliner for an afternoon snooze.
3. You finally have accumulated an assortment of favorite things that don't get thrown out by your significant other because either they are ugly or you don't need them. By the time you are eligible for social security you own some things like mugs, recliners, fishing gear, Hawaiian shirts, and books that your wife tolerates and won't slip into the Goodwill donation box when you aren't looking. Figuring out what you can keep is a process of elimination.
4. Arthritis is a great excuse for avoiding unpleasant tasks. Conversely, when you actually get around to doing one of those honey-do projects, you get a brief respite from the admonishment to get-er-done!
5. You have a collection of favorite TV shows you really like. Better still, because you've previewed and selected the good stuff you enjoy, you don't have to wade through the depressing post-modernist crap your kids and grandkids think is relevant. 
6. You have a favorite music collection that is wonderfully eclectic. I've got more than 500 songs in my phone's mp3 list and a pile of CDs, cassettes and vinyl that I'm gradually converting to digital mp3s. I defy anyone to look at my digital collection and find a bad song or at least one I don't like. I've got every thing from Pearly Shells (Don Ho) to Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road, from Doris Day to The First Highlanders Pipe Band playing Amazing Grace, from I'm My Own Grandpa to Brown-Eyed Girl, from Monkees, Beach Boys and Beatles to Placido Domingo, John Denver, Earl Scruggs, Burl Ives and Audio Adrenalin. My personal radio station never plays a song I don't want to hear or interrupt the music with a commercial for Honest Bob Vanderhoort's Used Cars.
7. You can sit on the back porch in the sun for 4 hours and it feels like you had a productive afternoon.  It is no longer necessary to tick off a list of things you need to meet your life goals. Sitting on the back porch playing your guitar and feeding the squirrels in the sunshine WAS one of your life goals.
8. You know how to do stuff that makes you happy. You play the guitar, banjo, dulcimer or Irish bodhrain, You build model ships. You can make your own bookshelves. You have time to write that novel you always wanted to write. You can cook things you want to eat and you're pretty good at it because you have lots of practice.
9. People no longer ask you to help them move. You can go over if you want, but you are participating in more of a supervisory role because you have a lot of experience in how to move and pack having done so many many times in your life.
10. Little things give you immense satisfaction.  A favorite restaurant, a walk down a country lane, a grandkid coming to visit, birds coming to your bird feeder outside your window and you can watch them from your easy chair. You, in fact, have an easy chair and people save it for you. 

There are other things I'm sure, but I just can't remember them now. In fact, people don't expect you to get ten things pulled from memory in the first place, so when you do, you get credit for being kind of old, but still sharp as a tack.

Time for my obligatory Sabbath afternoon nap.

© 2021 by Tom King

 

 

 

A Baker's Dozen Series I Have Binge Watched More Than Once

Early Edition (Marissa, Gary & Chuck)

Thanks to being just out of range of Seattle's network stations and me having the Internet and streaming services and downloadable movies (think Nord VPN - 'nuff said), I keep stumbling over TV series that I used to love or new ones that draw me in and suck up my weekends. I'll put on the ones I've run through once or twice while I'm fixing things around the house or doing chores.

This is a very personal and not an exhaustive list. I left out some of the more intense series like NCIS, NCIS New Orleans, Criminal Minds and such to keep it to a "Baker's Dozen" (13) shows. It's an arbitrary number, but the shows all have a similar tone. Not all are easily available. I found Early Edition on YouTube, and the others in various streaming services that I'm not boycotting like Netflix. 

Each of these series have a lighter tone for the most part. I left off the very well written Criminal Minds because it's too intense to binge. I have to take a break, in much the same way the actors had to given the subject matter. NCIS can be fun but when they lost Abbie, they kind of lost me.

So here are my 13 of my favorites in no particular order, although the last few are special favorites of mine. All of them are ones I've gone through a couple of times. Every year or so I'll line 'em up and run them again. I look forward to forgetting what episode comes next and as I age, I have become more adept at forgetting how each episode ends. 

AMERICAN BAKER'S DOZEN BINGEABLE SHOWS:

Falling Skies - Noah Wylie leads a ragtag group of human survivors of an alien invasion. This is one that I like mostly because of Wylie, but also because it introduces some really nice music that appeals to my eclectic tastes.

Numbers - Crime procedural with David Krumholz (Mr. Universe from Firefly/Serenity and The Santa Claus), Rob Morrow (from Northern Exposure) and Taxi's Judd Hirsch. Krumholz plays a math whiz who helps his FBI agent brother (Morrow) solve tricky cases with math. Fascinating premise.

Leverage - Timothy Hutton plays an insurance investigator who gathers up an assortment of con artists, grifters, hackers and thieves he's pursued and or busted over his career and goes about like Robin Hood getting justice for people who have been abused by the rich and powerful. Even though they canceled the series, it wouldn't die and is coming back this summer with Noah Wylie taking Hutton's place with the old team in Leverage: Redemption.  Can't wait.

Early Edition - Quirky series about a guy (Kyle Chandler from Friday Night Lights) who gets tomorrow's Chicago Sun-Times today. Poor guy winds up running around town trying to prevent murders, accidents and injustice. Fun series gone too soon.

The Librarian/Librarians - The Librarians is an extension of the TV movies with Noah Wylie. This series followed with a colorful cast that includes muscular and multi-talented Christian Kane from Leverage in which a group of people are drafted to be librarians and protect the world from troublesome problems with magic artifacts and persons up to no good. Fun romp through history with occasional help from Noah Wylie as the loner head librarian.

Warehouse 13
Claudia, Artie, Myka, Lena and Pete

Warehouse 13 - Sci-Fi Channel's series with a similar premise to the Librarians. Here Secret Service Agents working for Saul Rubinek and CC Pounder and a mysterious board of regents, collect artifacts that have been accidentally or deliberately imbued with dangerous magical powers and neutralize them. The stories are interesting, the characters likeable and fun to watch.

Castle - Firefly's inimitable Nathan Fillion (Captain Reynolds) stars as Rick Castle, a successful novelist who thanks to his friendship with the mayor gets to tag along on murder investigations with Stana Katic as leggy police detective Kate Becket. My favorite part of the series, however, is Castle's amazing relationship with his daughter, Alexis (Molly Quinn) and his prickly relationship with his diva actress Mom. 

  
Monk - Tony Shaloub heads a great cast of characters as widowed OCD police detective Adrian Monk whose incredible obsessive pursuit of villains and microscopic attention to detail makes him San Francisco's go-to consulting detective despite his being removed from the police force due to his obsessive behaviors. It's kind of a comedy, but my obsessive neat-freak wife (whom I adore) views it as more of a tragedy and often corrects the writers for allowing things like Natalie (his nurse/girl Friday) placing her germy purse on the counter and Monk not noticing. A P.I. with a full time nurse sets up a lot of unique situations for San Francisco's defective detective.

Stargate SG1 - MacGuiver's Richard Dean Anderson takes on the Kurt Russel role from the movie - Colonel Jack O'Neil. Benjamin Browder from Farscape took his place during the last seasons. Amanda Tapping plays Samantha Carter the team scientist and Michael Shanks takes the James Spader role as egghead historian/archaeologist Daniel Jackson. The team with an alien named Teal'c (Christopher Judge) travel through mysterious stargates connecting many different planets and fight interstellar parasites and assorted evil aliens in an effort to save the galaxy. A rare sci-fi series that doesn't take itself too seriously. Someone asks Col O'Neil in one episode why people on every planet seem to speak English. "Just go with it," advises Jack. It's that kind of fun. Dom Deluise's sons direct and take supporting roles over the years and even Dom shows up for a couple of episodes as an alien caretaker with a split personality. There were two spinoff series and a couple of movie sequels, the show was that popular - and it ran for more than a decade so there is lots to binge on.

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The Last Ship - Grey's Anatomy's Dr. Dreamy (Eric Dane) and Adam Baldwin (Firefly and Chuck) star as Captain and First Officer of US destroyer Nathan James, the last surviving American ship after a virus takes out the crews of the US Navy. Cruising out of the way of the disaster in the arctic, the James's crew survives when the world is stricken by a devastating pandemic that destroys food and kills billions of people. Scientists on board attempt to create a vaccine while rogue militaries and warlords attempt to loot, pillage and conquer everyone who is left. The series really shows off the capabilities of a US destroyer. 

 

Chuck - Morgan, Ellie, Casey, Chuck, and Sarah

Chuck - Based on a comic book series, Zachary Levi (Shazam) and Yvonne Strahovski (Handmaid's Tale) are a nerd recruited by national security agencies and his beautiful CIA handler, Sarah. Chuck's scientist dad has created a program called the Intersect, tailor made for Chuck's brain. Chuck receives an email which downloads the program to his brain and finds himself able to do kung fu, pull up all kinds of data in his brain and generally becomes a superspy. Adam Baldwin is Colonel Casey, a no-nonsense NSA agent who is highly uncomfortable in his cover as a stock boy at a Buy-More electronics store where Chuck works as part of the store's Nerd Herd, computer fix-it guys. The show is all kinds of fun with some really weird nerd action and quirky characters for comic relief.

Eureka - The cast's faces are familiar from other SF and TV series. It's a fish out of water story. A US Marshall blunders into a secret scientific community and gets himself drafted as the town sheriff whose job is to contain the constant stream of disasters caused by the collection of dangerously smart geniuses that work for Global Dynamics, the Defense Department funded employer and center of pretty much everything about the town. Sheriff Carter and his daughter move into a bossy smart house and learn to deal with the insane disasters that threaten the town and sometimes all life on Earth.

 

Firefly - Jane, Malcolm and Zoe

 

Firefly - Best for last! Nathan Fillion heads a wonderful cast as Captain of the smuggling spaceship Serenity. Captain Reynolds is a survivor of the losing side of a war with the despotic corporate government of a system of terraformed planets where humanity took refuge after Earth became uninhabitable. The series posits American and Chinese cultures as a blended dominant culture. Everyone curses in Chinese which makes censors jobs easier. These being largely pioneer worlds, the series is kind of a space Western - cowboys in space so to speak. The series was canceled early, but it earned a fanatical following and spun off a feature length movie "Serenity" which gave closure to the series' militant fan base.

BRITISH/CANADIAN/AUSTRALIAN BAKER'S DOZEN:

Foyle's War - DI Christopher Foyle and Samantha Stewart

 

Foyle's War -  British detective inspector solves crimes in WWII southern England. Absorbing look at England's law enforcement during the war. 

Sherlock - Benedict Cummerbach (Dr. Strange) and Martin Freeman (The Hobbit) are Holmes and Watson in one of the best versions of Conan-Doyle's ground-breaking detective.

All Creatures Great and Small - Wonderful series based on the James Herriot novels about his life as a country vet in the Yorkshire Dales. Stars Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy.

Father Brown (both iterations) - There are two versions of GK Chesterton's priest/detective Father Brown. The earliest starred veteran British actor Kenneth More and the second with Mark Williams (Mr. Weasley in Harry Potter). Local detectives resent his meddling in their cases, especially because he always solves them.

Rosemary & Thyme - Felicity Kendall and Pam Ferris star as gardeners who every time they take a landscaping job, somebody gets murdered. Lots of fun.

Good Neighbors/The Good Life - Tom and Barbara Good (Richard Briers and Felicity Kendall) abandon corporate life to pursue self-sufficiency in their suburban home in Surbiton, London to the dismay of their high toned neighbors (Penelope Keith and Paul Eddington)
 
Miss Fischer's Murder Mysteries - Phryney Fischer, an independent, thoroughly modern lady sleuth cuts a swath across Melbourne's society in the late 1920s, fighting injustice, armed with a pearl-handled pistol, keen eye and razor-sharp wit.

Murdoch Mysteries - Yannick Bisson stars as the handsome Toronto detective William Murdoch in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Very Canadian as the series takes credit for having invented key American technologies and police procedures well ahead of their American cousins. Murdoch, a devout Catholic raised by nuns, brings his rigid sense of right and wrong to the messy business of law enforcement.

Horatio Hornblower

Horatio Hornblower - A series of A&E movies about CS Forester's British Sea Captain. They never finished the series although the 1950s Gregory Peck version does take up where A&E left off. Welch actor Ioan Gruffud stars and takes us from green seasick ensign to inventive captain who is based on famed British Captain Thomas Cochran, considered by many to be the most brilliant tactician in the British Navy during the age of sail. Hornblower notably never fights Americans directly which saves him for American audiences.

 

Fawlty Towers - John Cleese and Prunella Scales star as Torquay inn-keepers. Cleese delivers his frenetic style to the role as Basil Fawlty. Scales plays the perfect foil for the over-stuffed Basil as his wife, Sybil. The series didn't last nearly long enough but worth every second. "Basil the Rat" is my favorite episode.

Dr Who - The new series with new Dr. Who's rises above it's campy roots, although the Daleks do retain their toilet plunger appendages. I understand the new season trots out a female Dr. Who. Well why not? The series is hardly to be taken seriously. If you can't loosen up enough to enjoy it, the Dalek's will happily  "EXTERMINATE!"

Anne of Green Gables

Anne of Green Gables (not Anne with an E) - This is the 1985 series, not the dismal "woke" Netflix version that I stopped watching when every other character turned out to be gay. The PBS Wonderworks mini-series about Lucy Maud Montgomery's heroine was faithful to the original and Megan Follows as Anne is the perfect Anne. Colleen Dewhurst as Marilla and Richard Farnsworth as Matthew were inspired casting. Montgomery was a preacher's wife and likely would have been horrified with what Netflix has done to her Anne. My kids and I used to binge watch Anne on weekends and get all misty and dampen some hankies. I listed it here because it was filmed on Prince Edward Island, Canada.

NOTE:

I started out with the first 13 American series, then added another dozen from our fellow English-speaking countries, because I like the often-lovely stuff they put out. There are a couple of shows that are an acquired taste on either list, but for the most part these on this list are easy to like. You may have to hunt them down online, but they're well worth a nice binge. I'd pack a lunch. Nachos would be perfect.

© 2021 by Tom King

A Dozen Songs for Fathers & Sons

Me and My Boy

Disparagingly called songs about "Daddy Issues", as it turns out songs about fathers and sons are pretty common among singer-songwriters. Country, bluegrass, rap, gospel and rock musicians all do them.  Father and son relationships are powerful in our lives, so it's not unsurprising that singers write about them. Songs cover everything from fathers who die to soon, wonderful dads, fathers who are missing in action, and fathers who are not understood by their sons and sons not understood by their fathers.  Here is a very personal collection of songs about Dad, from several genres. Hope you enjoy them

1.  Pearl Jam - The Man of the Hour:  As one critic snarked, Eddie Vedder was still coming to terms with his "daddy issues" at the time this song was written. What this cold soul seems not to understand is that father-son relationships are confusing, deeply impact our lives, and are powerful themes for music, poetry, film and art. Eddie wrote this song for the movie "Big Fish" and it captures the theme perfectly.

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   2. Harry Chapin - The Cat's in the Cradle: Harry Chapin's poignant ballad about a Dad who inadvertently taught his son to be just like himself struck a chord with a lot of young fathers in the wake of the social upheavals of the 60s. Us hippie children were becoming fathers and Harry reminded us all not to repeat the mistakes of our own Dads. Apparently, not all of us listened too closely. I did, though.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Cat Stevens - Father & Son:  Cat Stevens aka Jusef Islam, was another popular singe-songwriter who took a shot at guiding my generation of skulls full of mush as to the dangers of poor communication between Dads and sons. Here he sings both sides of a familiar argument between Dads and their male offspring. He also had a lot to say to children while he was at it. He did some very engaging music over his career.

 

 

4. Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the Band:  Dan Fogelberg was one who loved and appreciated his father it appears. He also seems to realize that his father gave up his dreams to raise his family and that his Dad was responsible for his being able to achieve his own dreams. This one always makes me misty. Fogelberg talks about the song and what it meant for him and his father. This song never fails to make me get all misty.

5. Will Smith - Just the Two of Us:  Not all Dad/son songs are gentle folksy ballads. Will Smith manages to make a sweet rap song about being a father. I love the words of this song. I know exactly how Will felt when they put that baby boy in his arms.

6. James Blunt - Monsters:  This poignant song is about saying goodbye to a father and making peace at the end of a long life. If this song doesn't make you blubber, you have no heart. James couldn't even get through the song without weeping.

7. Peter Gabriel - Father, Son:  Another song about wrapping it all up with your father and saying goodbye. The video with this one is particularly poignant.

 

 

8.  Rodney Atkins - Watchin' You:  This sweet song is a cautionary tale about being a good father by example. I love this song. It's a reminder that as a Dad, you gotta remember you are being watched 24/7 by that little guy of yours.

9. Cliff Eberhardt - My Father's Shoes:  This song is more my experience of my father. My Dad was an alcoholic. He was by all accounts abusive, an ex-convict and something of a racist. He left my Mom with 3 kids when I was five years old to run off with a girl he met in a night club and made pregnant. Said he had to give the child his "name", as though that were a thing when he had 3 kids who already had his name. A lot of men think like that. His example determined me to not grow up to be him. This father in this song was kind of a more traditional father as seen by a restless hippie child, but much of the sentiment describes my own determination to not walk in my father's shoes.

10. Vince Gill - Key to Life:  This song is about the sort of father you don't want to introduce your girlfriend to. He's a chain-smoking, hard talking, wears over-alls without a shirt teenage boy's nightmare, but even then, he's your Dad and you better come to terms with that if you don't want to be just like him, because some of him is lurking there inside you.

11. Vince Gill, Alison Krauss, Ricky Skaggs - Go Rest on High on That Mountain: This song is about losing a loved one and is frequently one sung by sons about their fathers when they pass on. Very nice trio.

12. Anthem Lights - You Will Always Be My Son:  Anthem Lights Band sings another song about holding on and letting go of your sons. You want them to fly on their own, but you also want them to know the nest is there if they lose some feathers along the way.

If you have any more songs, drop the name of the song and the artist in the comments box below. I know there are some other ones out there that are as good as this bunch, I just can't remember them now.  I'll add them to the post.  Thanks.

© 2021 by Tom King
* Links are to songs posted on Youtube. I don't own any of this music.

My Top Thirty One Christmas Movies

Christmas movies are our annual anti-humbug holiday treat for my wife and I. We also have Halloween movies, 4th of July movies and St. Patrick's Day movies.  Here's the list for Christmas. It started out as a top ten list but then it grew to 20 then 25 and now 31. I can't help it, they keep making new ones. So, in no particular order.

1. It's A Wonderful Life (Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed sleeper hit with Lionel Barrymore and the delightful Henry Travers)
   
2. White Christmas:(Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen. Perfect!)
3. Scrooge (Albert Finney)
4. Scrooged (Bill Murray)
5. The Christmas Lodge (With Daniel Jackson from Stargate SG1 and Erin Karpluk) 
6. November Christmas (Hallmark I think - it's a shameless tear jerker but sweet)
   
7. Christmas Vacation (Chevy Chase classic)
8. Home Alone 1 and 2 (Kevin manages to have not one but 2 engaging Christmas Adventures)
9. Silent Night (Linda Hamilton as a German mom in WWII who entertains soldiers from both sides at Christmas)
10. Christmas With The Kranks (Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Ackroyd, Cheech Marin) A Steven King story if you can believe it - very funny though.
    
11. The Santa Clause (Tim Allen - all three)
    
12. Joyeux Noel (The WWI Christmas miracle)
    
13. A Christmas Story (Ralphie angles for an official Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock)
    
14. The Polar Express (Based on Chris Van Allsburg's ethereal picture book)
    
15. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carey)
16. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Boris Karloff)
17. A Charlie Brown Christmas (It's a TV cartoon but then so is the Grinch with Karloff)
    
18. Miracle on 34th Street (Natalie Woods is precious)
    
19. A Christmas Carol (Jim Carey - animated lunacy from Disney)
20. The Christmas Card  (Great romantic Hallmark flick)
    
21. Fallen Angel  (Gary Sinise - not what you'd expect)
    
22. Die Hard (Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Alexander Gudenov) It's not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls off the Nakatomi Towers.
    
23. Mixed Nuts (Steve Martin, Madeleine Kahn, Robert Klein, Rob Reiner) Almost forgotten Steve Martin flick that's fun to watch
24. Holiday Inn (Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire compete for the girl)
25. The Holiday (Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Jack Black) 
26. The Christmas Ornament (Jewel Staits, Kellie Martin, Cameron Matheson)
27. The Christmas Train (Dermot Mulroney, Danny Glover, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Joan Cusack)
28. Mrs. Miracle James Van der Beek, Erin Karpluk, Doris Roberts) and the lovely sequel Call Me Mrs. Miracle (Doris Roberts, Jewel Staite, Eric Johnson, Loren Holly)
29. Love Actually (Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Martin Freeman, Keira Knightly and a host of others) Warning with this one. If you can find a version that tones down the language and brief nudity great, otherwise send the kids to bed.
    
30. 12 Dates of Christmas (Amy Smart, Mark-Paul Gosselaar)
31. Christmas in the Smokies (Sarah Lancaster, Barry Corbin, Alan Powell)
    

There you go. There are some that are peripheral Christmas movies like Trading Places and Lethal Weapon that I left off the list, even though I included the first Die Hard which was by no means a strictly Christmas movie. I also hesitated to include Mel Gibson's deeply strange Fat Man which though the missus likes it (she has a thing about Mel) It might be a kind of disturbing approach to the Santa Claus myth. Any, you've been warned.

 

I would include links but these things move around so much and sometimes a selfish TV channel or streaming channel grabs one of them and hogs it up for themselves. So Google these and watch them where you can. Youtube has a bunch of them so you might go there first. Tubi and Crackle have some of them every year. In the subscription services, Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Paramount+, Friendly TV and such will have various assortments. Sometimes you can find the rare ones on the Pirate Bay, just make sure you are careful and respect the copyrights involved before you download. ;-)

Merry comin' up on Christmas!

© 2020, 21, 22, 23 by Tom King

Sci-Fi Series Gone Too Soon

Why doesn't more good sci-fi survive on TV?

TV networks suck at managing science fiction shows. There is a reason. They keep hiring "professional" television writers to write SF shows for one thing. They need to hire good sci-fi writers, otherwise the product winds up looking like "CSI Goes to Space" or "The Goldmans on the Moon".  That said, there were some really good attempts at solid, magic free science fiction in the past 10 or 20 years. Some succeeded, but a surprising number of really good efforts failed miserably or succeeded right up until they were canceled by a surprisingly thick-headed gang of network execs.


1. Firefly - 'nuff said.
2. Journeyman - I liked the direction that "Journeyman" was going with a poor guy inadvertently traveling in time and trying to figure out what in the world was going on.
3. Crusoe with Sean Bean in the title role wasn't science fiction, but captured some of the "stranger in a strange land" flavor of really good SF.
4. Terra Nova - I was just getting into the dinosaurs and time travel series and boom!  Canceled.
5. Flash Forward - by this time I should have smelled a rat, but nope. Turned on the TV one night and it was gone right in the middle of the story.
6. Invasion - Really should have seen the end coming with that one.
7. Defying Gravity was pretty interesting. So, of course - poof and gone!
8. New Amsterdam - about an immortal New Yorker was fascinating and the kinda sorta got to end it, but it ended way too soon.
9. Forever, which explored a similar theme of an immortal in New York was even more interesting and I've loved Ioan Gruffud ever since Hornblower. Either Forever or New Amsterdam was better than "Highlander" which got two movies and a series more than it deserved.
10. Jericho, the post-apocalyptic series set in a small Midwest town, died far too soon too despite a fan revolt. Part of the campaign was to deliver massive quantities of nuts to the CBS studios - an homage to the line Gerald McRaney delivered, borrowing from General Macauliffe at Bastogne. The fans made a mistake having nuts delivered to CBS in protest. They should have brought slingshots and pelted the execs when they tried to get to their cars in the evening.

Network television doesn't do great stories anymore - at least not with any consistency, though sometimes they do accidentally. Grimm was a good show in a bad time spot and now it's gone too soon. This year saw the end of more than one series I liked in favor of some "Twerking with the Stars" or "Let's Make You a Star", or "Lie, Cheat and Betray Your Way to Big Money" kind of unreality show. Cheap to produce and appeal heavily to the sub 100 IQ crowd. 

The problem with intelligent sci-fi is that it only appeals to about 20% or less of the TV watching demographic - those who possess an IQ somewhat better than even money. They are expensive to produce and until the arrival of the cheap-but-great special effects George Lucas and Steven Spielberg promised us would come our way soon, they'll likely not rise much above the Star Trek level if that far. They even canceled the very interesting "Enterprise" after a relatively short run. There were complaints that it was too cerebral for Trekkies.

I don't expect any long run sci-fi to make it on TV, even on the Sci-fi channel, which used to do some really great shows. I was a Stargate-SG1 junkie for better than a decade, what with reruns and all. The later iterations took themselves far too seriously though, lost the irreverent tone that the Deluise brothers and Richard Dean Anderson brought to the original and each post SG-1 outing had a progressively shorter run. 

If I were Bill Gates kind of rich, I'd create a network and buy up all those canceled shows and run new seasons of them along with the old. Firefly would be my first purchase, of course. There would be no wrestling or reality shows.  Just great stories. The one new series I'd do right away would be the Poul Anderson stories of space robber baron Nicholas Van Rinj - trader to the stars. What a terrific character and what a dense pile of rich stories to work from.

In the meantime, I haven't read nearly enough books yet, which is where TV should be mining for stories. Every time a "professional" television writer tries to write science fiction, somewhere a puppy dies.

© 2017 by Tom King

A Baker's Dozen Famous Actresses You Didn't Know Were Republicans

1.  Shirley Temple -  Shirley Temple Black was more than just a pretty cute kid. She grew up to be a smart cookie. She was a lifelong Republican and was appointed to the ambassadorship of the United Nations and later served as ambassador to Czechoslovakia. While there she witnessed the Soviet invasion from the top of a roof where she took refuge. She saw soldiers shooting women and looting Prague from her perch on the roof. Later when Czechoslovakia overthrew it's communist government, it was Shirley that opened relations between the U.S. and the new government.

2.  Doris Day - When I was a young man, I always had a little crush on Doris Day. She seemed like such a nice person and was the sort of gal I was attracted to. Turns out she's an active Republican, participating in several presidential elections over the years. A Roman Catholic and staunch conservative, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President George W. Bush in 2004. She's really big on animal charities as well and is founder of the Doris Day Animal Foundation.

3. Joan Rivers -  Joan was a longtime Republican. She was friends of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Steve Forbes, and even admired Margaret Thatcher. She was a rare bird -- a New York Jewish female comedienne. As the Washington Times noted, all of the Republican New York, Jewish, female comediennes in the world would "...fit into one phone booth, and still have ample room to make some calls."

4. Phyllis Diller -  Phyllis was a standup comedienne when there weren't very many of them. Her comedy was self-effacing. She cracked jokes about her age and appearance, bad cooking and her husband “Fang.”  She supported her five kids spending most of her working life on the road with people like Bob Hope and Johnny Carson. She did two TV series and was regular on “Laugh In” and Hollywood Squares. She was friends with Joan Rivers and both voted Republican in a career that did not reward conservatives.

5. Claudette Colbert - The Oscar winning actress was born Emilie Claudette Chauchoin in France. Her family moved to the US in 1906. She worked her way through acting school in a dress shop and upon her Broadway debut, she changed her name to Claudette Colbert.  She also was friends with Ronald and Nancy Reagan and was a staunch Republican and what her IMDB bio called "a natural conservative."

6. Maureen O'Hara - My other youthful crush was Dublin born fiery redhead, Maureen O'Hara, She was a staunch conservative Republican like her flag-waving favorite co-star, John Wayne. Over time Maureen publicly supported the Presidencies of Dwight D. Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and George W. Bush. She never was intimidated by the liberal Hollywood establishment and was completely comfortable with her conservatism.

7. Virginia Mayo - Vivacious blonde bombshell, Virginia Mayo graduated from chorus girl in MGM's Goldwyn Girls to leading lady best known for a series of films with comedian Danny Kaye. Over the years she played opposite Hollywood leading men including Kaye, Bob Hope, Burt Lancaster, James Cagney, Ronald Reagan, George Raft, Rex Harrison, Paul Newman and even the Marx Brothers. A lifelong Republican, Virginia endorsed Richard Nixon in 1968 and 1972, and supported her longtime friend Ronald Reagan in the 1980 presidential race. An Arab Sultan once remarked that Virginia's beauty was "proof of the existence of God."

8. Barbara Stanwyck - As you can tell from the picture, Barbara Stanwyck was a second amendment kind of gal. She married fellow arch-conservative Robert Taylor and helped form the Motion Picture Alliance for the Preservation of American Ideals in 1944. Their mission statement said, in part, "...in our special field of motion pictures, we resent the growing impression that this industry is made of, and dominated by, Communists, radicals, and crackpots.” Stanwyck was a fan of Ayn Rand and pushed Warner Bros. to buy the rights to The Fountainhead.

9. Jane Russell - No shrinking violet, Jane Russell hung with notorious Republicans like Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Lou Costello, June Allyson, Dick Powell and Jimmy Stewart. She described herself in 2003 as, "...a teetotaling, mean-spirited, right-wing, narrow-minded conservative Christian bigot, but not a racist.”  She also had no problem with gay members of her profession, maintaining close relationships with choreographers and gay actors alike. She got along famously with liberal colleagues in the film industry including Marilyn Monroe who was just an inch shy of being a communist. Tough gal, Russell, helped Marilyn get through on set hysterics and prevented the directors and other actors from bullying the troubled actress. Heavily involved in very conservative causes, something that appalled her liberal friends, Jane was a complete mystery to liberal Hollywood, most of whom counted pistol-packin' Jane as a good friend.

10. Irene Dunn  One of the most active Hollywood stars in Republican causes during her career, Irene campaigned for Richard Nixon in 1960 and for Ronald Reagan both times he ran for Governor of California and then again for both of his presidential campaigns.  President Dwight D. Eisenhower named her an alternate delegate to the U.N. General Assembly in 1959. She actively campaigned for him in the 1952 and 1956 presidential elections. Nominated for five Academy Awards, she starred opposite Hollywood dreamboats Clark Gable and Cary Grant, as well as Charles Boyer and Spencer Tracy. Irene was a hard-working gal, both in film and in politics. 

11. Vera Ellen - Lithe elfin dancer, Vera Ellen was a better dancer than the industry gave her credit for. She danced with all the best male dancers including Fred Astaire, Donald O'Connor, Gene Kelly, and (my favorite), Danny Kaye. Her dance number with Kaye in White Christmas was breath-taking. She once was fired from a chorus line for showing too much individuality. She was a lifelong Republican and a solid supporter of Ronald Reagan especially. Her later life was tragic, but she left a legacy of film behind and a whole lot of spectacularly athletic dance numbers. 

12. Margaret Hamilton - Well so long as Republicans are going to get a bad rap anyway, let's include our most infamous Republican actress, the Wicked Witch of the West her own self, Margaret Hamilton. Margaret Hamilton grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, attended Hathaway Brown School and practiced acting by doing children's theater. After several film roles in the 30s, Margaret was tapped for her breakout role in the Wizard of Oz as the witch that haunted children's dreams for more than half a century. Turns out she was a Sunday School teacher, a staunch Republican and conservative. It turns out Republicans do pitch a wide tent.

13. Glynis Johns - Let's make it a baker's dozen. I was watching Danny Kaye's The Court Jester and co-star was the lovely Glynis Johns. She shows up in a lot of my favorite movies and turns out she's a staunch Republican. She used to do a lot of light comedy, but the versatile Ms. Johns could also play serious roles as well. Another of my favorite performances was Glynis's delightful sufragette, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins. Steven Sondheim's Send in the Clowns was written specifically for Glynis to perform. She had trouble with long held notes, so Sondheim kept the phrasing short for her. Her family came from Wales, but she is now a naturalized American citizen and staunch conservative Republicans.

There are a whole batch of lists on the Internet featuring current Republican actresses out there, but there aren't many from the golden era of film. I thought you might like to see that not all of the classic actresses from the heyday of film were shrieking Communists and liberals. That's why I used to watch the Oscars. There wasn't much danger of having to listen to some speech about how terrible America is for not helping the Palestinians drive the Jews into the sea. They just talked about what a privilege it was for them to do their job and to be in this great country.  Note the number of immigrants up in that list.

Love those Republican gals!
© 2017 by Tom King

How Many of These Movie Quotes Can You Identify?

We really don't have any idea how many movies we've stuffed away in our already over-crowded brains. It would probably astound you the number of hours you've spent in front of a screen watching films.  Don't believe me?  How many of these movies can you identify just from a quick quote from the movie. Caution: this quiz will be graded. You'll need paper and pencil or a blank word processor document to record your answers. This is not multiple choice (I am an English teacher).

1.  Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
2.  Go ahead. Make my day. 
3.  My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'
4. Where we're going we don't need roads...
5.  “But without my voice, how can I…”
   “You’ll have your looks, your pretty face… and don’t underestimate the importance of body language.”
6.  “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food."
7.  Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, “I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.” Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
8.  “Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off doing no daring-do. We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!”
   “The public is in danger!”
   “My evening’s in danger!”
   “You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!”
   “‘Greater good’? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”
9.  "Aw, you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!"
   "You are a sad little man and you have my pity."
10. "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
11.  Attaboy, Clarence.!
12.  It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage.
13.  I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
14. "We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!”
15.  "I'll have what she's having."
16.  "Are you crying? There's no crying! There's no crying in baseball!"
17.   I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
18.   Here's looking at you, kid.
19.  After all, tomorrow is another day!
20.  Houston, we have a problem.
21.   Hasta la vista, baby.
22. "So, no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave." 
23.  I feel the need - the need for speed!
24.   Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
25.  "Surely you can't be serious." - "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Groundhog Day - Bill Murray

Did you get them all? Check your answers below and give yourself four points for every one you got correct. 

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
2. Sudden Impact
3. Forrest Gump
4. Back to the Future
5. Little Mermaid
6. Finding Nemo

7. Up!
8. The Incredibles
9. Toy Story
10. The Wizard of Oz
11. It's a Wonderful Life
12. Raiders of the Lost Ark
13. Star Wars
14. Treasure of the Sierra Madres
15. When Harry Met Sally
16.  A League of Their Own
17. The Godfather
18. Casablanca
19. Gone With the Wind
20. Apollo XIII
21. Terminator 2
22. Serenity
23. Top Gun
24. Dead Poet's Society
25. Airplane

Score:  Multiply the number you got right by 4

0-59:    F (You are a person who has an actual life)
60-60:  D (You read books)
70-79:  C (You watch a lot of sports)
80-89:  B (You probably have kids and have some of the Disney flicks memorized)
90-100: A (You really need to get out in the fresh air and get some sun)

* I'm not saying how many of those I would have gotten. I'm supposed to have a degree in English and we English majors find movies beneath us. We're supposed to sit by fires, smoke pipes and read 3000 year-old heroic poetry for fun.

© 2017 by Tom King